It’s February, and you know what that means? Valentines Day.
Ugh. I hate Valentines more than I hate Christmas, and I loathe Christmas, but that’s a rant in itself for another time.
But Valentines Day? It just grates on me. For so many reasons. But here are the main ones:
Reason 1 - I’m 36 and I’ve never received anything for Valentines.
Ok. I suppose that’s a lame excuse. But in my 36 years on this planet, I’ve never even received so much as a card. Even bloody Ralph Wiggum has received a freaking card, and my breath doesn’t even smell like cat food!!
Reason 2 – I’m currently single
No hope of getting anything this year is there. I don’t know anyone who gets or gives something if they aren’t in a relationship.
Reason 3 – It’s a reminder that I’m single
Yeah, I don’t need to be reminded of that. When majority of the other women in the company I work for get something and I don’t, it’s a kick in the groin. With steel capped boots. That have points. That have been dipped in arsenic. And sulphuric acid. And tested on puppies.
When the ladies at work get flowers, everyone fusses over them. There are smiles all round. There’s boasting, comparing, laughter, and many phone calls of thanks.
And then just for that final ovary kick, one of them just has to remind me “Oh that’s right, you aren’t going to get anything today!”
No. No I’m not.
Reason 4 - Commercialism
This is a pretty obvious one isn’t it? The shit they have just for Valentines, the bears, the chocolates (not that I don’t like chocolate), the flowers (I love flowers) the cards, all of this gets thrown in your face from the last week of January, until the 14th. It’s unbelievable!
Then there are the ads in the papers, e-cards, websites, emails blah blah blah. Seriously.
(I will admit though, it’s not nearly has bad as Easter, where the stuff appears in the stores the second Christmas is over).
Reason 5 – The most important reason of all
What upsets me the most, is that there is so much riding on this day. If a guy forgets it’s Valentines Day, he is the worst person in the world. Because apparently, you only get told once a year that you are loved! Right?
Wrong. The whole point of a relationship so to make your other half feel loved all the time, not just on one bullshit day of the year.
On the flip side, if a guy sends flowers to his girl’s work, or does something romantic, he’s the best guy in the world. All his girlfriend’s friends think he’s fantastic.
So, is the guy sending his girl flowers because he loves her? Or because of the praise he’ll get from everyone else for doing so?
What if the guy is a complete asshole? Will going overboard on Valentines, wipe his slate clean? I don’t think so!
So there you have it! My reasons for despising Valentines.
And just for the record, Tom Hiddleston? I choo-choo-choose you 
I don’t hate VDay as much as you, but I’ve gone through phases when it’s not my favourite day in the world. I think getting something on VDay is really sweet, but having said that, if in a relationship, wouldn’t you much rather prefer flowers and/or chocolates or whatever on any random day, just because?
I think it’s unfair the amount of pressure placed on men on VDay. When I have celebrated it as part of a couple, I always get the guy something as well, it’s unfair to expect him to shower me with gifts. Really, a super corny/lame/hilarious card will do me well!
I found the choo-choo-choose you card for sale online. LOVE! hahaha
See that’s the thing, why leave the tokens to one day? Where’s the spontaneous flower giving and all that? “Just because” is the BEST reason to get or give anything.
Totally agree! DG brought me cupcakes to work last week (I had very strongly hinted that I wanted them/may have said “BRING ME CUPCAKES”) and that was so much nicer than doing it on the same day that everyone else seems to do those things.
With 4 kids and no support and a partner who works day and night (a chef) and always works valentines, theres no time to even romance with the idea of this day. Who wouldnt love flowers and something nice. Even uninterrupted sex would be cool! Oh well.. i guess i could buy myself some flowers! why not!
Ps. I loved your article on sexless marriage. I sent it to my partner to read. He treats me like this all the time and for years with absolutely no excuse as to why. Even when we arent arguing about the subject and discussing it like proper adults, i still get nothing out of him. I feel all those things you feel and i’ve told him he hurts me to my core. Still, it doesnt change. I’ve tried everything. What conclusion did you come to in the end?
For a while there i blamed porn. Thinking that he sits up late and does at times look at porn. I’m far from looking like a porn star. That just hurt more. I know hes tired and overworked but i need that connection.
*sigh.
Oh Natalie I’m so so sorry. I hope your partner reads the article.
What conclusion did I come to? Well I gave up trying after a year, so there was no sex or intimacy until the day he died. He wasn’t affection either, and I was desperate to leave him, but I didn’t believe I had the support network necessary to leave. Something that I didn’t really articulate in the article was that he was emotionally abusive. Everything was my fault, and I couldn’t talk to him about anything, or the blame would be shifted onto me. I’m pretty convinced now that to him it was a marriage of convenience, while I married him for love.
I hope things improve for you Natalie
thanks for your reply. It is hard. My man is worth it, hes awesome on so many other levels. I dont doubt he loves me. I just have no idea what the reasons are. Maybe he just doesnt want to face why. Maybe he knows it would end us. Who knows. I only see the negative! Anyway.. Onwards and upwards. I’m pregnant with my 5th so i have no time to invest in more stress for now! Truth will prevail!
I was trying to organise a catch up with a girlfriend in a couple of weeks. We picked a date and she said: “Oh that’s Valentine’s Day!” My reply? “That means nothing to me.”
If my husband was to bring home flowers or chocolates or anything on that day I would fall over from shock. That said, here in KL, everyone tends to go overboard for every holiday and this year VD falls during Chinese New Year, so it’s going to be 10 times bigger. It gives the little cynic in me more to laugh at I guess.
It’s a tough one for guys as well. Another form of Christmas which in the end always makes someone feel bad because their friend got more or less than they did….or on the guy’s side that he didn’t or couldn’t get enough.
Anyway, Australians in general should stop complaining about being single. They are too far away from the Eastern time zone of North America to have a meaningful relationship, and that’s why Australian marriages/relationships end in failure 100% of the time. Don’t bother me with any supposed real statistics either…the above is true. Constantly striving to meet New Zealand lofty standards, the resulting chronic depression leads to self deprecating actions like eating yeast spread. Always having to wear a hat studded in croc teeth, and constantly trying to outdo the size of the mugger’s knife gives Aussie men too much to think about….not to mention the eventual back injuries from the weight of the steel in the eventual comical size of said knives. Plus, as president Steve Irwin pointed out during his weekly national address, Crocodile Hunter, Australian’s can’t venture outside without being attacked by some kind of wild beast or Russel Crowe. Valentine’s day? Least of Wellington North’s problems.
It’s nice being too far away to hit :p
It’s a good thing I know what you’re like or I’d delete your comment