It’s February, and you know what that means? Valentines Day.
Ugh. I hate Valentines more than I hate Christmas, and I loathe Christmas, but that’s a rant in itself for another time.
But Valentines Day? It just grates on me. For so many reasons. But here are the main ones:
Reason 1 - I’m 36 and I’ve never received anything for Valentines.
Ok. I suppose that’s a lame excuse. But in my 36 years on this planet, I’ve never even received so much as a card. Even bloody Ralph Wiggum has received a freaking card, and my breath doesn’t even smell like cat food!!
Reason 2 – I’m currently single
No hope of getting anything this year is there. I don’t know anyone who gets or gives something if they aren’t in a relationship.
Reason 3 – It’s a reminder that I’m single
Yeah, I don’t need to be reminded of that. When majority of the other women in the company I work for get something and I don’t, it’s a kick in the groin. With steel capped boots. That have points. That have been dipped in arsenic. And sulphuric acid. And tested on puppies.
When the ladies at work get flowers, everyone fusses over them. There are smiles all round. There’s boasting, comparing, laughter, and many phone calls of thanks.
And then just for that final ovary kick, one of them just has to remind me “Oh that’s right, you aren’t going to get anything today!”
No. No I’m not.
Reason 4 - Commercialism
This is a pretty obvious one isn’t it? The shit they have just for Valentines, the bears, the chocolates (not that I don’t like chocolate), the flowers (I love flowers) the cards, all of this gets thrown in your face from the last week of January, until the 14th. It’s unbelievable!
Then there are the ads in the papers, e-cards, websites, emails blah blah blah. Seriously.
(I will admit though, it’s not nearly has bad as Easter, where the stuff appears in the stores the second Christmas is over).
Reason 5 – The most important reason of all
What upsets me the most, is that there is so much riding on this day. If a guy forgets it’s Valentines Day, he is the worst person in the world. Because apparently, you only get told once a year that you are loved! Right?
Wrong. The whole point of a relationship so to make your other half feel loved all the time, not just on one bullshit day of the year.
On the flip side, if a guy sends flowers to his girl’s work, or does something romantic, he’s the best guy in the world. All his girlfriend’s friends think he’s fantastic.
So, is the guy sending his girl flowers because he loves her? Or because of the praise he’ll get from everyone else for doing so?
What if the guy is a complete asshole? Will going overboard on Valentines, wipe his slate clean? I don’t think so!
So there you have it! My reasons for despising Valentines.
And just for the record, Tom Hiddleston? I choo-choo-choose you